How to Pick the Right Therapist: Neurodivergent Affirming Therapy
You’re ready to give therapy a chance, but the process of trying to find a therapist who truly understands the unique strengths and challenges of a neurodivergent person can feel so overwhelming. How are you supposed to know from a short profile if this person is someone you can spill your guts to? This guide is designed to help you navigate the process by breaking down some clear, actionable steps to identify a professional who is genuinely supportive of your experiences. Whether you are seeking help to better understand Autism, ADHD, or another neurodivergent experience, these tips can help you make an informed, empowered choice.
Understand Your Own Needs
Reflecting on your own therapy needs is a crucial first step in finding the right match. The strongest predictor of success in counseling is the relationship between you and your therapist. Understanding what supports you - and what doesn’t - can help guide your search for a great fit therapist.
Start by listing any specific requirements, qualities, or accommodations that help you feel safe and comfortable.
It might feel weird to pick someone based on age or gender - but it’s totally okay to be picky about these things when choosing a therapist. Many people find comfort in working with therapists who share similar lived experiences, whether that’s related to neurodivergence, chronic illness, faith, gender, or other aspects of their identity. These things add to our sense of comfort and safety in the therapeutic space. If this resonates with you, it’s perfectly okay to prioritize a therapist with similar experiences.
Some things to consider as you create your list:
What are your goals? Are you aiming to manage stress, address symptoms, understand your neurodivergence, or heal trauma?
What aspects of your life are most important to you right now? What energizes you and what drains you?
Do you prefer a structured session or more open-ended, exploratory sessions? Do you prefer only talk therapy or would you like to try something experiential like EMDR, somatics, brainspotting, or the expressive arts?
Would you feel more comfortable with a therapist of particular age, gender, or identity?
Is it important to you to work with someone who has similar lived experience as you?
Do you prefer a therapist who is more neutral or one that is more expressive and open?
Choose a Neurodivergent Affirming Therapist
A neurodivergent affirming therapist sees Autism, ADHD, and neurodivergence not as a problem to be fixed, but as a unique way of experiencing the world that deserves understanding and support. They recognize that neurodivergent individuals do not need to be “cured” but instead empowered through validation and tailored support. A therapist who is knowledgeable about neurodivergent experiences can help prevent miscommunication and invalidation - issues often experienced with non-affirming professionals who may mistakenly label neurodivergent behavior as disorders or something to be fixed. A neurodivergent affirming approach avoids harm and discourages masking and the suppression of your authentic self.
Things to Look For in a Therapist
Understanding of NeurodiversitY
They acknowledge the unique strengths and challenges that neurodivergent clients face and promote self-acceptance and authenticity instead of trying to change aspects of who you are.
Use ND Affirming Techniques and modalities
They incorporate alternative ways of expression and communication, use sensory friendly practices, and appreciate different neurodivergent thinking styles.
Use a client-centered approach
They prioritize your goals and perspective, creating a nurturing and collaborative environment where your needs are leading the process.
Demonstrate cultural competence
They understand the importance of culture, community, systems, and intersectional identities in shaping your experiences.
You feel a personal connection
Ultimately, the right therapist is someone you vibe with. Feeling safe, understood, and comfortable is key. If you prefer a therapist of a specific gender, age, or community, that’s okay. Trust your instincts.
Check Qualifications and Experience
Review the therapist’s website, credentials, testimonials, and any other online content they offer. This helps you verify their training and professional background and gives insight into their overall vibe and approach. Look for details about their specialization areas and consider whether their therapeutic methods resonate with your needs.
Credentials and Training
Verify they have the proper certifications, licenses, and any additional specialized training relevant to your needs. In the USA, a therapist must be licensed in the State you are in to provide services to you.
Therapeutic Approach
Determine if their methods align with your preferences. For example, CBT is primarily talk-based and focused on changing your thoughts, while modalities like expressive arts therapy or Brainspotting are more experiential and creative.
Online Presence
Read blogs, websites, watch introductory videos to get a sense of their personality, values, and communication style. This can be a helpful indicator of whether you’ll feel comfortable and understood in sessions.
Specializations
Check if they have experience or training in working with neurodivergent individuals or other aspects of your identity.
Consider Accessibility and Logistics
Consider the logistical aspects of therapy - pricing, location, and session length - and reflect on how these factors affect your overall experience. For instance, if you need extra time to process your thoughts, you might prefer a therapist who offers 60 minute sessions instead of the standard 50 minute.
Decide whether in-person or virtual sessions work best for you. While research shows the effectiveness of both methods is comparable, personal preference matters. I prefer virtual therapy because it lets me stay comfortable in my own space, reduce sensory triggers, and I can see a therapist that I otherwise wouldn’t be able to travel to because of distance. However, if you value the structured environment of a physical office, in-person sessions might be the right choice for you.
Other things to consider:
Do you need specific accommodations and can the therapist provide them?
What is the therapist’s availability and scheduling policy? How frequently do you want to meet, and can they accommodate your preferred schedule?
What are the session fees and late cancellation policies? Do these match your needs?
Does the therapist take your insurance? If not, are their fees within your budget?
When in Doubt Ask Questions
Choosing a therapist is a deeply personal process that benefits from self-reflection, thorough research, and transparent conversation. Don’t hesitate to ask questions about potential therapist’s experience, session structure, policies, political views (yes it’s okay to ask if it’s important to you), or anything else that concerns you. Open, honest communication is essential for building trust in a therapeutic relationship. By considering your unique needs, researching potential providers, and trusting your instincts, you can find a professional partner who truly supports you.
Finding A Neurodivergent Affirming Therapist
For Neurodivergent Affirming Therapy at Crooked Tree Arts & Wellness (Florida only), reach out today to get scheduled for a free 15-minute consult call or initial intake session.
Neurodivergent Affirming Provider Directories:
ND Therapists
Neurodivergent Practitioners
Autistic Therapist
Recommended Book:
The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy By Steph Jones