What is Neurodivergent Affirming Therapy?
For many neurodivergent individuals, traditional talk therapy has failed. We’ve spent years cycling through therapists, wondering why we can’t just “get it.” We show up each week and do the “work”, but it always seems like something isn’t quite right. Finding a neurodivergent therapist can make all the difference in creating a safe and valuable therapeutic space.
Neurodivergent Affirming Therapy
Neurodivergent-affirming therapy flips the traditional medical model upside down. In a world where we are quick to pathologize, ADHD, Autism and other forms of neurodivergence are often seen by mental health providers as “problems to be fixed.” ND-affirming care celebrates neurodivergence as a variation in human experience and a natural part of who someone is. It is not something to be changed or fixed. Attempting to “cure” neurodivergence or promoting neurotypical behavior and masking can harm someone’s mental health, well-being, and self of sense.
Why Traditional Talk Therapy Can Be a Poor Fit for ND Folks
Before I knew I was autistic I spent years in and out of CBT therapy. I’d often get frustrated that I couldn’t just CBT harder and that my anxiety and trauma symptoms continued to seep through despite my best efforts. I loved my therapist and felt connected, but for a long time, I also felt like something was ‘off’ about my therapy experience. I just couldn’t figure out what it was, and as a therapist myself this drove me mad. Now that I know I’m autistic and have had a different therapy experience, I realized all the ways that my prior therapy had attempted to fit me into neurotypical experiences - something that was never going to resonate with me. I also learned a whole new way of being for clients.
Why Traditional Therapy May Not Fully Support Neurodivergent People:
Mismatch in communication styles: traditional therapy often relies on abstract language, indirect questions, and over-generalizations
Pathologizing the ND experience - symptoms to be treated & skills to be learned vs experiences to be understood and accommodated for
Focus on verbal processing
Overemphasis on eye contact or other NT standards like facial expression and affect
Lack of understanding of ND experiences - failing to provide correct support and context
Lacking proper structure - either too structured or not enough, tailored to the approach, not the person
Can promote masking by setting NT standards for behavior and experiences
Lack of awareness/accommodations for sensory and environmental issues
Unrealistic homework or goals
Ignoring or not prioritizing special interests and passions
Focus on emotions over logic can be frustrating for some ND people
Therapist unfamiliar with ND experience may unknowingly invalidate emotional responses or mislabel difficulties as avoidance or resistance to the work
Defining Neurodivergence and Neurodiversity
Neurodivergent-affirming therapy comes from the neurodiversity paradigm and the belief that Autism, ADHD, dyslexia, and other forms of neurodivergence are normal and important variations in the human experience. We all experience the world differently, and these differences aren’t inherent problems, deficits, or mean we are broken. Many of these differences have helped humans thrive - we need different brains for different things. A mix of brain types makes the world better for all of us.
Neurodiversity is the big picture - it’s the idea that all brains are different, and this diversity is essential, valuable, normal, and something to be celebrated. Introduced by sociologist Dr. Judy Singer in the late 1990s, neurodiversity refers specifically to how all brains are different and how those differences impact how we experience the world - including behaviors, thoughts, emotions, and perceptions. Just like humans have variations in things like height, eye color, and hair color, humans have variations in brain types. It moves away from the medical model of pathologizing differences and instead moves toward celebrating uniqueness.
Neurodivergence refers to the experience of those whose neurodiversity falls outside of what society considers “normal” or neurotypical. Neurodivergence is often used to refer primarily to conditions defined as neurodevelopmental disabilities in the DSM-5, including Autism, ADHD, learning disorders, and intellectual disabilities. However, Dr. Singer and many other ND-affirming providers recognize neurodivergence to include all brains that differ from neurotypical standards, including Traumatic Brain Injury and mental health diagnoses.
The Core Principles of ND-Affirming Therapy
Neurodivergent affirming therapy comes from the neurodiversity paradigm, and centers therapy on acceptance, empowerment, and authenticity of the neurodivergent experience. Neurodivergent affirming care is rooted in a deep understanding of the neurodivergent experience, a belief that neurodivergence is something to be celebrated, and recognizing and providing accommodations for the barriers and challenges that ND people experience. ND-affirming therapy aims to help ND people live and thrive authentically - embracing all of their ND experience. This may include altering the therapy environment to provide support and accommodations that meet the needs of ND people and viewing experiences through an ND lens.
Guiding principles of Neurodivergent affirming therapy
Presume competence - all people are capable of learning, thinking, understanding, and growth.
Therapy is a safe, non-judgmental space for authenticity and healing and is centered around the neurodiversity paradigm.
The therapy experience is tailored to each person and their unique needs, providing accommodations for sensory, communication, and other needs.
The therapist advocates for self-determination, inclusion, and respect for client’s autonomy.
Therapy is from a strengths-based approach - highlighting and celebrating the unique strengths of ND people.
Therapy honors lived experience and respects intersecting identities and how this impacts our experience in the world. ND-affirming therapists recognize this in both ourselves and our clients and work to unpack any privilege we have.
Therapist is actively anti-racist and LGBTQIA+ affirmative.
Therapist seeks out professional development from other neurodivergent adults.
Therapy is accessible and affordable.
Therapy is collaborative with ongoing collaborations and discussions.
Therapy goes beyond what happens in session - it includes advocacy, justice, and community.
Therapist uses identity first language but respects the client’s preference.
How to Get the Most Out of Neurodivergent Affirming Therapy
Therapy works best when it’s a partnership, and self-advocacy plays a big role in making the most of your time. The more you share with your therapist about your experience, the more they can tailor the work to meet your needs.
Clarify expectations - Be clear about what you want to achieve in therapy and discuss your goals upfront, especially if they change.
Prepare for sessions - Bring notes or a list of topics to discuss, especially if verbal communication is difficult.
Give feedback - If something isn’t working, let your therapist know. If something is working, let your therapist know. This could include how questions are asked, the pacing of sessions, activities, homework, the environment, etc.
Request accommodations - Ask for sensory-friendly options, a break if you become overwhelmed, visual aids, or written information as needed.
Acknowledge your needs - Recognize your sensory and emotional triggers, and don’t be afraid to advocate for breaks or adjustments to avoid overwhelm and overload.
Use your strengths - Embrace your neurodivergent traits and strengths in therapy. This might look like using special passions or creative outlets to process feelings or concepts instead of traditional dialogue.
Be Patient with the Process - Therapy can take time, so be patient with yourself as you work through challenges and triumphs. Progress often feels like a roller coaster.
Autistic & ND Therapy Resources
The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy by Steph Jones
What to Expect In ND Affirming Therapy with Crooked Tree Arts & Wellness
I believe that true authenticity in therapy begins with the therapist. If I want to create a space where you feel safe, welcomed, and free to drop your walls and fully be yourself, I need to lead by example. That means showing up as my real, imperfect human self. The years of “therapist blank face” are long behind me. I bring my full self to our work together—whether that’s mismatched sweats, a brain that sometimes (often) misfires, or no makeup. I curse, I don’t mask my facial expressions, and I’ll always be honest with you if you want my perspective. You won’t hear me flipping a question about myself back to you with a “What would it mean to you to know that about me?” Instead, I aim for real connection and mutual respect.
As an autistic, chronically ill, and disabled person, I understand what it’s like to navigate a world that often feels like it wasn’t made for us. I know the pain of feeling “too weird,” “too different,” or like your life has been shoved into tiny, ill-fitting boxes. But I also know the beauty of embracing those differences, unmasking, and creating a life that aligns with who you truly are. I’m here to bring all of that to our work together—if it helps you thrive, it’s on the table.
Therapy That is As Unique As You Are
Therapy with me doesn’t follow a one-size-fits-all formula. Instead, I tailor my approach to your needs, communication style, and preferences. For some, this might mean we spend our sessions talking through challenges. For others, it could involve creative, hands-on activities like art-making or other experiential techniques.
No matter the approach, one thing stays constant: this is your space, and we move at your pace. I’ll always check in, present options, and collaborate with you to ensure you feel in control of the process. Breaks are encouraged when needed, and we’ll always make space for what feels right for you.
What You Can Expect from Me
I’ll honor and validate your neurodivergent experiences, helping you view yourself and the world through an ND-affirming lens. Together, we’ll explore what it means to embrace and work with your unique perspective.
I’ll ask about your full experience—your emotions, thoughts, senses, perceptions, and anything else that makes your world uniquely yours.
I’ll encourage curiosity and self-compassion as we explore together.
I’ll happily explain the “why” behind any question or activity if you want to know more.
I’ll focus on building your strengths while honoring your sensory and communication preferences.
Ultimately, my goal is to help you feel seen, heard, and supported as we work together to create a life that feels authentic and fulfilling to you. Therapy with me is a partnership, and your voice and choices will always guide the way.
If you think neurodivergent affirming therapy could be a good fit for you, reach out today to get scheduled for a free 15-minute consult call or initial intake session.